Meetup.com and all it's wonders....or lack thereof

I love my friends.  That said, they are young, recent graduates who are (for the most part) single and childless.  They simply can't comprehend the extreme difficult nature of parenting and what it entails.  Again, love them dearly.  The hardship that goes along with being a parent, is magnified when you're a single parent.  I have Abram full time.  His father has him 3 hours a week --- sometimes.  Anything my friends want to do...like plan a camping trip or a birthday road-trip or even just a movie night....I need several days notice and a sitter.  Why not bring him along?  No.  I know Abram will have no fun and to be honest and selfish?  If I'm going to be participating in these activities, I want to enjoy myself.  This does not happen if I'm entertaining/parenting/chasing an extremely active 2 year old boy.

Okay --- so there's the back story.  I posted an ad on CraigsList under the "strictly platonic" section.  Single parent seeking same.  It's probably still up, check it out.  Anyways....I'm desperately seeking someone in my situation   A single parent doing what they can to make it work!  We can chat while our kids play etc etc etc.  One of my responses (actually my only non-sexual ((ewww)) responses) was from a woman suggesting meetup.com.  I had never heard of it, and when I looked into it?  Sounds awesome!  I joined the single parent/divorced adults group and was so excited to meet new people.......

That leads us to the first meetup.com group event I attended, it was tonight.  I wanted my first time to be a kid-friendly event so I choose a BBQ at a member's house.  As today was approaching....I decided to ask Mom to come along.  Afterall, she's divorced, and I could use an out if things went south.  

And south they went.....

The event started at 4pm, we arrived about 445.  We brought our own meat to grill and a broccoli salad to pass.  When we arrived, everyone was already outside so we went around back.  No one even looked at us. We picked a picnic table to set the things down and I took the liberty to try to figure out who the homeowner was.  Impossible as there was 30 people and no one looked quite at home.  I grabbed the grillmaster's attention, asked him if I should put the salad inside or on the table?  He grunted then looked the other way...  I repeated myself to a group of 5 around a patio table.  A few shrugged and when I wouldn't avert eye-contact, one said, "I think you can leave it in your cooler until dinner is ready".

I returned to meet Mom and Abram, and I looked around.  There was 15 or so folding chairs set up in a circle.  Most were filled with people in deep conversation.  Again, no one looked at us.  Mom finally took Abram off to play, as all of the other kids there were 6+ and not interested in a curious toddler.  

I was hoping, while sitting on the picnic table (by myself) saying "hello" to people walking by, that someone would introduce themselves.  Not the case.  After about 45 minutes, the longest 45 minutes of my life I might add, we finally just grabbed our things and left.  

I'm pretty sure no one noticed.

On the way home, I was angry.  They seemed so welcoming online!  I'm trying to find people in similar situations and little kids for Abram to play with.  Why weren't they wearing nametags?  Why didn't anyone introduce themselves to me?  Why do I feel like I'm back in 7th grade?

Maybe I should have introduced myself to other people, but I tried on 3 different occasions to strike up conversations, and each time was given one or two word responses.  That is uncomfortable, inappropriate, and socially unacceptable.

Part of me wants to write on the group's wall, expressing all of this.  Part of me just wants to never go again and fade into the background.

All I wanted was to find a new playmate for Abram, and to find a parent who understand my challenges and supported me through this process.  I realize this isn't really a typical blog entry for me; but, I'm upset and I figure it is Abram-related.